Thursday, August 31, 2006

I sat down today and wrote out a list of all the jobs I've had. Put together, it makes for a largely aimless and unimpressive job path. Less than a year ago I was hanging out in malls, dressed in a giant ear costume. I still get e-mails asking if I want to pick up more shifts as a giant ear.

I've led a directionless life, and worked some shitty jobs... but I've got at least 13 and a half interesting stories. More, actually, because I just realized I forgot to include the One Hour Photo Lab on my list.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I showed up 15 minutes late to Chris' birthday party. He had reserved the Pope Room at Buco di Beppo.

Chris: Could you please wait to take the picture until after more people show up so it looks like I have friends?

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The yellow line is for unloading.

Dropped Sarah off at Midway this morning, for her flight back to Boston. Back to her new job and her new life.

Sarah: Is this going to get easier?
Me: Yes. It will.

For some reason she tends to believe that I know what I'm talking about.

technical crap

Apparently something is seriously wrong with Blogger right now. I can't get pictures to post. Hopefully this is fixed soon, but I worry that it might be a while. Ugh. Stupid Blogger.

Monday, August 28, 2006

My first day not working. Went to Great America Amusement Park with Hansen (Trial Lawyer), Young, Maloney (Unemployed) and Sarah.

It rained.

Hansen: There's barely anyone here. This rain is going to break soon and there will be no lines.

It starts to rain harder and the rides are shut down.

Me: It's raining harder.
Hansen: That's what it does before it stops.

For some reason I tend to believe Hansen knows what he's talking about.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Me: I'm looking forward to tomorrow.
Sarah: I'm looking forward to today. Don't look forward to tomorrow. I'm leaving Tuesday. Stop looking forward to things. You'll make my visit be over.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Backstage during the intermission of our show, Whirled News Tonight, I asked Alex (Quantitative Research Associate), Megan's boyfriend, if he were dating his job, what kind of girlfriend would it be.

Alex: Hmm. Good question.
Megan: Wouldn't it be like a girlfriend who's like, "Hey, spend more time with me. Hey, why aren't you spending more time with me?"
Alex: I think it's like a girl that I'm pretty happy with, she's alright, I'll probably end up with her, I guess. I could. People would ask, "How are things going," and I'd say, [slightly higher pitched voice] "Oh, good. Things are good. Yeah."

Friday, August 25, 2006

My last day at Jellyvision.

Sort of.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I came home from work to find Sarah sitting in my apartment. She surprised me by flying in a day early for her visit.

Sarah: I brought back your t-shirt. Thanks. I'll need a new one, though. So you need to wear a t-shirt for three days straight so it smells like you.
Me: I'm pretty sure I can sweat enough in one day.
Sarah: Oo, I could wear one of your shirts for a day so it smells like me and leave it for you!
Me: That's okay.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Lacy's last day.

Lacy: I'm going to be FUNemployed!

Besides being a writer, like me, Lacy did a huge chunk of the audio recording for the project.

Me: As we're all testing stuff, is it weird to constantly hear your own voice coming from different parts of the office?
Lacy: A little bit. The weirdest part is that sometimes I'll hear my voice saying something and I won't remember recording it. When did I say that?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Like I said, the project is ending.

Amanda: [seeming genuinely sad] So, I'm going to have to fire you soon. I've been putting it off.
Me: I know. Is today my last day, then?
Amanda: No. Not today. That wouldn't be fair.
Me: Well, you know... when you know....
Amanda: You're really going to miss me.
Me: Sure.
Amanda: That's why we need to get you back if we can. Because you'll miss me so much.
Me: I definitely want to come back.
Amanda: What will you miss the most about me?
Me: Uh...
Amanda: The yelling?
Me: Maybe the yelling.

Just to play it safe, I sent a copy of the above transcript to Amanda via e-mail to make sure she was okay with me posting it. That led to the following conversation on IM.

Amanda: no no no. it makes me sound cavalier about your contract ending. which i'm not. who SAYS that to someone ending a contract?
Me: you do and it's funny.
Amanda: i'm SUCH an ass.
Me: if it weren't funny i would have cried.

At this point Amanda leaned her head out of her door and yelled across the office at me, "Really? You would have cried?"

Monday, August 21, 2006

With the project very close to being done, it's either feast or famine at work.

This morning, waiting for bug reports to come back from the client, we had nothing to do, so we ended up gathering around each other's computers, watching weird videos on YouTube.

Here, everyone watches "Indian Superman," a clip from a Bollywood musical about a slightly husky dancing singing Indian Superman.

Meyer: This is much better than "Turkish Star Wars."

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Trupe had to head back to Chicago early in the day because of a work emergency ("Fucking work."), so it was my job to fill out our entry in the Cabin Journal.

Nick: You really do have the handwriting of a child.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

During a game of Washers, Trupe (Content Producer) got frustrated and somehow kicked one of his flip flops up into the branches of a very tall tree. We tried throwing other things up there to knock it loose. We threw a giant stick which got stuck in a different tree. We threw a half-full bottle of Orange Gatorade which got stuck on the roof of the cabin. Finally, a basketball got the job done, but only after it almost bounced into the lake.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Blueberry Island, Indiana. An annual weekend cabin trip with friends.

We mostly drink and play games of skill. We started off the first night with Caps (not one of my favorites). You toss bottle caps across a room at the opposing team's cup of beer. If you sink the cap in their beer, they drink.

I turned 30 this last year, and staring into a foamy penalty cup of beer with a dirty bottle cap at the bottom, I started to really feel old and tired. And full. I eventually forfeited a game I was winning 4 to 1, because I knew I just couldn't drink another drop.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The desktop wallpaper on my computer at work is a picture of Sarah (Performer), my girlfriend, who recently moved to Boston for a job opportunity.

I think the picture is endearing and funny, although not exactly flattering. A few people have walked by my desk and said, "whoa" or "yikes."

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I was eating a sucker today at work.

Amanda: Is that hoodia?
Me: What? What is that?
Amanda: An appetite suppressant.
Me: What do you mean?
Amanda: It's supposed to be big in LA now. You put it on a sucker and you don't eat for three days.
Me: [long pause] No. It's a sucker.

I need to lose some weight.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The desktop wallpaper on Chris' computer is a picture of Chris.

Monday, August 14, 2006

I don't know how it started, but someone said, "I'm sure there are more Cary Grant werewolf movies out there than we realize," and suddenly work came to a halt for fifteen minutes while everyone scoured the Internet Movie Database for Cary Grant titles to turn into monster puns.

Bringing Up Wolfie
Wolf by Wolfwest
His Grrr Friday
An Affair to Dismember

Sunday, August 13, 2006

According to my confusing alarm clock, it's going to rain tomorrow.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Hanging out at the theater before an improv show that we both perform in, Megan (Marketing Assistant/Licensing Coordinator) mentioned that she's thinking about going back to school to become a teacher.

Megan: I just hate my job. If my job were a boyfriend I would have broken up with it years ago. I don't want to get out of bed because of it and it makes me cry three times a week. That's not a healthy relationship.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Drinks with my friends Young (Local Number Porting Specialist), Martin (Human Resources Coordinator) and Nick (High School Drama Teacher).

[Originally, my entry was a bit longer, but, just to be safe, I e-mailed the three of them to make sure I wasn't sharing anything I shouldn't. Which led to the following e-mail exchange.

Young: Please remove the phrase "___________________." I know people get fired for stuff like that.
Young: Actually now that I think about it you can't mention that ____________ at all. Sorry.
Nick: Please remove the phrase "with my friends". It's embarrassing.
Martin: I couldn't be happier with the possibility of appearing in this blog. Hell, I'll let you post my social security number if that will get me blog-time.
Nick: Actually, now that I think about it, please remove Young. From the earth.]

Thursday, August 10, 2006

I work in Chicago, south of North Avenue, on West Eastman.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Did I mention we're behind schedule? This is what I look like after staring at a computer for 13 straight hours.

My roommate, Young, sent me an e-mail at 10pm. "Haven't seen you in a couple of days. Are you okay? If you need help with something let me know (groceries, errands, etc.)"

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Today was the last day at Jellyvision for Thea and Mary.

Thea: [via office-wide e-mail] Give me a hug before I go and I'll be sure to cry.

Mary, after leaving, sent an e-mail saying that she had cried after getting out of the building, but had also accidentally left her purse behind and could someone please get it for her.

Thea is off to New York to do a show in the Fringe Festival. Mary is off to Croatia for a month with her Croatian boyfriend. By the time they each get back, the project should be done.

Monday, August 07, 2006

With our project nearing completion, people will start slowly trickling out of the office now. Amanda, the president, called a brief company-wide meeting.

Amanda: I just wanted to say that this has been my favorite year here, not because of the project itself, but because of the people. I know we all have deadlines, but there is something I wanted to do. When I interviewed all of you I asked you to list three things about yourself that would surprise me. I printed up some of them, and I was going to read them out-loud and we'd all try to guess who said what, but Brian pointed out that might be mean. Well, we're going to do it anyway.

Here's part of that list. Amanda never read number 15.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Tonight, I decided to put batteries in the digital clock I won in a raffle several months ago. I've been using the alarm function on my cell phone to wake me each morning, but wouldn't it be good (and more adult) to use an honest-to-goodness clock?

It took me a while to figure out how to set the time, and, in fact, I never did because (as I learned later from the manual), several minutes after being activated it sets itself via a signal from the "US Atomic Clock in Boulder, Colorado" and not, as I thought for half a second, some newly untapped psychic powers on my part.

I'm not certain that I set the "2-minute crescendo alarm" correctly, so just to be safe, I set my cell phone for tomorrow morning as well.

I used to hate Sundays, a day I'd spend dreading the approach of Monday. But these days, Sundays aren't so bad.

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