Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Lately, there have been some problems with the connection between Poland's basement in Michigan and the office here in Chicago. Today, the screen froze while he was mid-laugh. We could still hear him talk, but his picture was stuck in this vaguely unsettling position.
Throughout the day, if someone made a joke that fell flat, they'd point to the screen and say, "Well, Poland likes it."
He looked like he was in an end-of-episode freeze frame from an old sitcom. I would occasionally sing, say, the 'Happy Days' theme song and scroll my fingers up the front of the screen to signify the roll of credits.
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from Poland's blog (which you should read if you get a chance):
"I had my work camera on and there were still a couple of people in the office, finishing up. The cleaning woman was darting in and out of frame from time to time, cleaning off desks and vacuuming and shit. At one point, she came right up to the TV, on which my giant noggin was being broadcast, and she started dusting the lens of my camera. She obviously had no idea that I was a real person and not just a really fucking boring TV show, and she thought she was just cleaning off the tube. I was just about to unmute my microphone and say something like, "Hey, lady! Don't forget to wipe off my knobs!" when she must've hit the power switch, or something, and my connection crapped out. Bummer. Though it's probably for the best -- she probably would've had a fucking grabber and I'd end up getting tele-sued."
"I had my work camera on and there were still a couple of people in the office, finishing up. The cleaning woman was darting in and out of frame from time to time, cleaning off desks and vacuuming and shit. At one point, she came right up to the TV, on which my giant noggin was being broadcast, and she started dusting the lens of my camera. She obviously had no idea that I was a real person and not just a really fucking boring TV show, and she thought she was just cleaning off the tube. I was just about to unmute my microphone and say something like, "Hey, lady! Don't forget to wipe off my knobs!" when she must've hit the power switch, or something, and my connection crapped out. Bummer. Though it's probably for the best -- she probably would've had a fucking grabber and I'd end up getting tele-sued."
I never realized how much of a greaseball vampire look I've been cultivating. Poor 'mini-harry' -- looks as if he's about to be my next victim.
Creepiest thing I've ever seen. It's like a subversive Breck Shampoo add or something. Except the hot blonde has been replaced by a porn dungeon master.
# posted by 
: 1:32 PM, December 07, 2006
: 1:32 PM, December 07, 2006
Poland, you should probably make it a policy to never say 'don't forget to wipe off my knobs' to anyone.
I agree. And while you're at it, please cancel the cafe press line of shirts, mugs, and thongs featuring the phrase "Don't forget to wipe off my knobs."
# posted by : 2:26 PM, December 07, 2006
: 2:26 PM, December 07, 2006
Of course you know, now, that I WILL make that shirt. And I know just where to put said knobs.
Though I suppose boxers are more apropos...
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Though I suppose boxers are more apropos...
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